


First Love (Like We're All We Have)

by InkSplotchedStars



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: First Love, It hurts but it's beautiful, Lil angsty, M/M, Not sure if I'm gonna add a second part yet, but anyways, just a tiny bit, or quite a bit, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8936707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkSplotchedStars/pseuds/InkSplotchedStars
Summary: "You're my first love, you know."
Cross-posted from AFF.





	

Chanwoo buried his face in the crook of Bobby's neck. 

Bobby's hand made its way up to tangle itself in the maknae's hair. Running his fingers through the silky locks, he tried to ground himself. Strengthen himself. 

The feeling of Chanwoo's tears soaking through his shirt was as warm as the feeling of Hanbin's piercing gaze on them was cold. 

"Hyung." For being the physically largest in the room, Chanwoo's voice was the smallest. "Hyung."

It was unclear who he was addressing.

He and Hanbin's stared at each other, testing each other. 

"Jiwon--"

"No."

Their leader ran a hand through his already thoroughly messy hair. "Do you think I have a choice? Do you think I want this? That I want to be the bad guy?"

His voice grew steadily louder as he went, so that he was practically yelling. Then, he fell silent. 

"Do you think that, as your friend, I want this?"

The question was asked so quietly that normally it wouldn't have been heard. 

"Do you think I have a choice? Jiwon, please. I don't have a choice. I don't want this!"

Chanwoo was shaking. Bobby could feel it against his back. Perhaps he too was shaking. But he couldn't tell nor could he comfort the other. 

"I do not have a choice. Because I cannot let him take Chanwoo away."

The words made the blood of the older rapper run cold. "What?"

"Did you think that telling YG would make things easier? Better? Or were you simply tired of hiding? It doesn't matter I suppose. 

"It doesn't matter because you did it. And because you did, YG feels he has no choice. I don't think he wants to. But who we are, where we live, you cannot be accepted for who you are yet. It could hurt your careers. And Jiwon, if he has to choose, he will save you. Your career, anyways.

"Do you not understand? He will pull iKon apart, take Chanwoo, then expect us to pull together again. Chanwoo, when I say take you away, so do not mean he'll reassign you. He will break contract with you, blacklist you. We won't be able to see you again. Do you think we can live with that?"

Tears were running down Hanbin's eyes now. Quick, thick, and blinding. 

Watching Hanbin cry was always hard. Normally, he was the glue that held them all together. Normally he couldn't fall apart, because he knew how it would hurt the others. But now, when they were already all blown over, thrown down, defeated, he couldn't seem to help himself. 

Chanwoo's arms circles around Bobby's waist. The maknae's was so warm. It was the type of warmth Bobby could be lost in, he could stay in these arms until the end of his days. 

"Ok Hyung," Chanwoo said quietly. "Ok, just-- Can we have some--"

"Yeah. Of course. Take today off practice. I'll talk to YG and try to figure out tomorrow." Hanbin stood up, embraces them both, planted quick pecks on their heads, and left the room. 

The two left in the room were silent for a moment. 

Slowly, gently, Bobby moved Chanwoo so that the younger was on his lap. Their lips met, first gently, then desperately, needily. 

Hands grabbed, peeled at clothing, trying desperately just to touch, to feel, to hold each other one last time. 

Bobby broke their lips apart and whispered against Chanwoo's lips. "I love you. Remember that, ok? I love you so fucking much, Jung Chanwoo. That's why I can't lose you."

"I know hyung. I can't lose you either."

Bobby stopped and moved his hands up to cup Chanwoo's face. His thumbs gently rubbed across the maknae's jawline. "This isn't goodbye. And it isn't forever. I'll be right here when you need me."

"Yeah." Chanwoo had also stopped and placed his hands over Bobby's. He was silent. Then, "Promise?"

Bobby smiled sadly. "Yeah. I mean, I'll probably have to go do MOBB stuff for a while, but I'll always come back. I'll always come back home to you."

Chanwoo slumped forwards and ended up with his head in the crook of Bobby's neck again. 

Bobby wrapped his arms around the tall boy and rubbed gentle circles on his back until Chanwoo fell asleep. 

"You're my first love, you know," Bobby whispered quietly before pressing his lips to Chanwoo's forehead. He then allowed his eyes to flutter closed. Gently, he pulled his lover closer to him to fall asleep in their combined warmth.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there~
> 
> It's very nice to meet you. This is my first time posting anything on this site, so I decided I'd cross-post this first. You can find me at AFF using the same pen name. 
> 
> Now, for those of you who are confused, the reason their relationship is getting them in trouble is because in South Korea, LGBTQ relations and issues are still pretty taboo. So being openly gay would put their careers at risk and such. I do realize that I'm perhaps oversimplifying things, but this is the main bit of it. 
> 
> As of 20 December 2016, I do not have a second chapter for this story. However, I have a partially written draft. So who knows? Maybe this will get a little follow up. We'll see. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading my story. It means a lot to me. Hopefully I can meet you again soon~.
> 
> Stay warm,  
> Ink


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